There are different reasons for a relationship to break down. These includes mutual separation where both parties decided to separate, or when one party decided to walk away due to lack of growth in the relationship, or when one is struggling to thrive in the relationship. When heel let loose and things could not be put together or if there is a bereavement or death of a partner.
Whatever the reason for the
break up and ending of a relationship, it can be very difficult and can be
emotionally, physical and mentally painful. The process of healing can be time
consuming and daunting, so time and effort it’s required. The Do’s and Don’ts during
these processes are as follows
ACCEPT THAT THE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER
Acceptance is the first
stage of recovering when a relationship is over, to accept the loss is the
first stage of the Grieving process. Give yourself permission to grieve, talk
about the situation with friends and seek professional help if necessary, so as
to enable to move on from the state of grief. Respect the layer of recovery
process, which will include the physical, spiritual, emotional, you need separation
from all these layers, so be kind to yourself.
SEE EACH
DAY AS A NEW DAY
Find a reason and things to
celebrate, enjoy and celebrate every new step of the recovery process, e.g. see
each day as a new day.
Remove those things that
remind you of that person in your immediate environment, for example maybe
their clothes, shoes or their photo in your house, or on your screen saver.
This could be their picture on the wall, those things that can bring negative
energy and makes you stock in the process of mourning rather than grieving and
experience serenity
ESTABLISH THE BOUNDARIES AND GUIDELINE OF
COMMUNICATION
You can still be friends to
your ex’s, depending on the reasons for break up and on mutual agreement. Some people need to be in each other’s life
and remain friends on mutual understanding, if children and business are involved.
There must be a mutual agreement on mode and terms of communication. Establish the boundaries and guidelines of communications.
Agreed and respect the desire of one another terms of communication, e.g.
Respect no voice contact if it’s the choice of your EX and consider
communication by email or text if that is the choice. If no children or business,
no contact, less is more, this will give you time to grieve and recover. Please
handle all communications with respect.
DO THINGS YOU LOVE AND ENJOY DOING
Spend time with family and friends,
do something new, get hair make over, redecorate you house if possible, learn a
new hobby, be more productive and useful. Listen to music and watch movies, you
can actually watch a movie that you EX hates if makes you feel good. Do things
you love and enjoying doing, even if it’s the things you use to do with your EX.
Learn to be independent again, and to be with yourself, choice to leave, to
enjoy, and to move on.
FOLLOWING YOUR EX ON SOCIAL MEDIA IS COUNTER
PRODUCTIVE
Don’t follow your ex on
Social media, using fake profiles to monitor, asking friends about what your ex
is doing. It is counterproductive, you will only get hurt. Especially if your
EX has move on with another person, seeing what they are doing, will only get you
hurts and stock in the process of grieving.
Don’t use social media as
the platform to share your feelings, don’t write things about the break up on SM,
you will only regret it, post the grieving stage. Rather, talk to close
friends, and families or therapist. You can also put your feelings in writing.
NAME YOUR REALITY
Keep a journal, name your reality by saying
how you feel, e.g. I feel horrible, Am hurting, affirm it to yourself, it helps
to accept how you feel.
It’s not ideal to hold on
thought to a friendship if someone decides to leave you/ relationship, it will
not give you the time and space to grief and recover, that will be false hope. If you kept the friendship level purely
because you are still in love with your Ex and hoping to reconnect back some day,
then you might be heading for heart break and disappointment
Avoid excessiveness,
overeating or drinking too much alcohol, it will only give you a temporary
relieve, this will harm you and affect your health on the long run.
REBOUND
RELATIONSHIP
Don’t get over somebody by getting under somebody!!!
Don’t seek revenge by getting on with somebody!!!!
Don’t get back with your EX because of loneliness
These actions are counterproductive to your recovery
process,
please do this first,
HEAL
Because if you go into another relationship with your
emotional baggage, you will ruin the chances of having yet another fulfilling
and loving relationship
Learn the tool to help your recovery.
BECAUSE YOU”RE WORTH
Finally seek professional
help if you feel anxious and depressed, see a counsellor, therapist, or your Doctor,
to discuss your symptoms. If you feel like self-harming, please go to the
nearest ED, A&E, Emergency room for professional help.
Remember no relationship its
worth losing your life for, make the self-loving choice by honoring yourself BECAUSE
YOU”RE WORTH IT.
ATTRACT YOUR LOVE DESIRE
Have the relationship you want.
Talk to Teenu
#Teenu_Impactress
#Teenuthegamechanger
#Relationshipandfeminismcoach
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