Yeye Shade Kokumo is a popular socialite in Abeokuta. She was for many years a Civil Servant who recently retired after 35 years of active service.
She
is a stylish woman. Recently, she spoke to City People’s BUNMI MUSTAPHA about
her life & Style. Below are excerpts.
Let’s
talk about your marriage. You and your husband are one couple who shows love
and affections to each other no matter where you are, how would you describe
your husband?
He is the best husband any woman can get married to, but
quite unfortunate for other women, he has me already, I would say I am the
luckiest woman on earth, God has blessed me with him, and I think God has a
purpose for doing that, because like I told you, from when I was very young, I
have dreamt of growing up to be able to assist others, and when I met this
wonderful man I discovered that we had so many things in common, Initially I
was skeptical, how was I going to him my dreams, you know there are some men
who cannot stand crowd, they will just tell you, me and my family alone, my
husband will come back home at times and discover that there is a strange
person in the house with us, I would even remember to don the courtesy of
telling him about the person, and he won’t complain, because he knows me, it is
not a sign of disrespect to him, but because I have been so used to us doing
things like that. When we met ours is a matured love, we have had our ups and
down, and by the time we met, he was like, where have you been all my life, and
we promised each other that we are going to stick together, he will always tell
me that I am stuck with him, there is nowhere am going, and I like it when he
says that, my friends are his friends, his friends are mine too, every states he
has served in Nigeria, he has children, when I say children I don’t mean
biological children, by the time he goes to service and he is leaving, we are
having an additional child, he will just call me that he met someone at the
church and I sees that he needs help, we have to see him through school and
that’s just it, we have children that are Igbos, Hausas and Yoruba, and we
always happy to see these children excel and do well in life, you know when you
train a child, you have trained a thousand people, and then we are so use to
each other, you hardly see us quarrel, it not that we don’t have our
differences, but we have come to see each other as one. Apart from God, my
husband is next, and it’s the same with him, ask him a thousand times, the
answer will be the same. We have been together for more than twenty years and I
thank God for his grace.
How
were you able to manage your work and marriage in those years with your husband
been transferred to different state and you be moved all over Ogun state?
We see quite regularly, apart from the years when I served
from permanent secretary, that it was almost impossible for us to see as
regular as we normally did, and even at that when we say we see regularly, it
is relative, it gets to a stage in life, that you are so entrench with each
other that even when you are not together, it feels like you are together,
those years when he was being posted about and I was in the local government
service, I will always go to see him on weekends, even when he was in far away
Adamawa, I was going every other weekend, it was like we were not so far apart,
and at any given opportunity, he comes home.
What
are your plans to keep yourself busy now that you have retired?
In many ways, firstly I want to give my husband all the
attention. He deserves it. And I want to try my hands on charity, I have plans
for that, I have aged mother in-law to take care of, I have always taking care
of her, but last four years and few months, I have not given enough time to
her, and I want to rest head, I want to get used to this new phase. I have been
trying my hands on business and I will go all out for that too, I have so many
things to keep me busy, the only thing that I am going to miss about work is
waking up early and going to work, because I usually get to work at 7 30, and
sometimes I don’t leave till late night, I am going to miss that, even up till
now I still wake up the regular time that I wake up, I will have to tell
myself, why must you wake up 5am when you are not going to the office, because
even if I sleep at 2am I will wake up at 5am, I hope I will get used to
sleeping till 6am, because I can’t see myself sleeping till 7am,I am a very
restless person. But now I will give attention to my husband, the
grandchildren, my mother in-law, my business, and most importantly my charity,
both my husband and I will be looking forward to it.
What
advice would you give young people who want to start a life in the Civil
Service but are still undecided because they believe civil servants are a bit
laid back?
They should discard the laid back part from their mind. When
you go into Civil Service as your career, you should have vision, you should
believe in what you are doing and the sky will be a stepping stone, no one
should look down on civil servants and no one should look down on civil service
job, it is a very honorable job, you will get to the peak of your career. Civil
Service is dignifying, contrary to what people think, it is not a dumping
ground, when you go into the civil service, it is what you want out of it that
you will get, if you go there and say it’s just a job you are doing by the
side, you want to face your shop, it is that shop that you will face, you won’t
move forward, when others are moving forward, passing exams, when they are reading
to attain higher levels, you will feel like you are ok, because you are using
it as part time, but when you are there and you have a vision and you are
determined to make success out of it, the sky will be your stepping board, in
summary people should not see civil service as a dumping ground.
Let’s
talk about your fashion style, which is one thing you don’t get wrong. Did you
get that from your mom or you grew up loving good fashion?
I got that fashion thing from my mom. I told you mom was a
stark illiterate. But she was a fashion star, back then, my mom was so
fashionable. She was so particular about whatever she had on. I am sorry to say
this, in those days when people give birth and they are doing naming ceremony,
what was in vogue then were that, the mother of the newly born will place lots
of clothes on the bed, and she will change from one into another from morning
till night. She will change into like eight to ten different clothes. In those
years, if there were four mothers having naming ceremony the same week, my mom
will supply them clothes free of charge, for those who could not afford to buy,
and sometimes most of the clothes on the bed, the mother will end up not
wearing them eventually, but they just put them there, maybe they will be able
to wear like five or six out of the ten, for people to see. My mom was a
fashion star. And we the children, she always take us to Kings Way Store then,
to buy clothes for us. Yet she was a stark illiterate, but put us among the
children of professors. We will be high up there. In those years, there was no
known competition, but we would always stand out at parties. I definitely got
my fashion sense from mu mom, my mom will tell you, how can you put on a pink
dress and wear a red shoe, pink was her best color, and I got that from her,
but later I decide to love all colors, you will just look at my mom and wonder,
yet she can’t speak a sentence in English.
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