Saturday, 29 August 2020

PERFECT IS NOT SO PERFECT



 Why are women so obsessed with perfection?


Having a mother daughter talk with my Teenage daughter about, body image, diet culture, cosmetic surgeries and the truth behind those perfect pictures on SOCIAL MEDIA “INSTAGRAM POST “


It is so important to have this talk with my daughter, the truth is, we always see the perfect image on social media, stretch marks, Cellulite are rarely seen in the media even though 90% of women will have these at a given point in the live. For so long Stretch mark/Cellulite has been associated with overweight, unhealthy diet and lifestyle. This is absolutely incorrect, stretch mark are caused by tearing of the dermis layer of the skin, during periods of rapid growth of the body such as during puberty and pregnancy. Their severity is affected by several factors, including your genetics tendency, and cortisone level, - A Hormone produced by the Adrenal glands (mayo clinic) So if your mum has cellulite or stretch mark the chance is that you will have it too, whether you are a size 10 or size 20 dress size you will still have a higher chance of having stretch mark/cellulite.

Society are obsessed with perfection, because we associate perfection to happiness. People always believes that perfection equal happiness. We see a lot of celebrities on social media with perfect look and their happy videos and image, therefore we automatically associate perfection with happiness. This puts on a lot of pressure on many women to strive for perfect image, if I can lose 5kg, if I can get rid of my stretch mark, if I can get rid of this fat belly, then I will be happy. Comparing oneself to some of this celebrity, like Kim K, Toyin L, I think that is big problem.  It is so easy to obsess and compare ourselves to people you see in films and on social media for example. Everyone has something they wish they could change, so the sooner we start being kinder to ourselves and accepting ourselves for who we are the sooner that pressure on us all is lifted. Accepting our body for what they are will always increase our level of confidence.


Another reason for women to seek perfect body image of themselves is because, women have been thought to compete against each other for the attention of men. “Noam Shpancer PHD in Psychology, cited in Cosmopolitan “says that females compete with each other to snag a suitable male. She also brings up another dimension why women compete with one another, has women have been trapped in a male dominated society all their lives that they’ve internalised male gazed which perceive them as primary sexual objects and learned to see themselves and other women through that lens as well. They also seek male attention to validate themselves so most they battle other women for it.

Women have been thought to hate perfectly, the normal; part of our body, there are so many beauty products been sold to us, If these products are being sold to us to 'get rid of' excess hair, cellulite, stretch mark, acne etc., we're going to believe that they are shameful, and we need to get rid of them.

We believe subconsciously that if we have a toned body, smooth skin and whatever else, MEN will like us more. If we look like these 'perfect' celebs, men will like us more. Seeing all the perfect looks in the Media is definitely making us to think there is something wrong with us.


The media has a part to play in women body insecurity. I think it plays an absolutely gigantic role in everyone's body insecurities, not just women. Photoshop is the absolute devil and is capable of completely changing someone. Smooth out the cellulite, make her waist smaller, tone those arms, make her face completely pore less and smooth. This perfect image is not so perfect, but that is what is put out for us to believe and this is what we measure ourselves against and compete with. Always take what you see in the media with a heaped spoonful of salt.

BECAUSE SEEKING PERFECTION DOESN’T MOVE US FORWARD, IT HOLDS US BACK

Accepting infection: I have grown to love and accept my imperfection, I have few stretch marks on my abdomen and upper arm, most was developed during pregnancy, and some I have always had them has a teenager. I see them has a symbol of becoming a woman, no reason for not loving my tiger marks. 

I wear outfit that makes me feel like the most confident, badass version of myself, Hands down a sassy playsuit or jumpsuit, with a gorgeous lace insert, some cute heels or wedges and a little bag. I may as well be miss world when I'm wearing it all!

I have few positive body role models that inspires me, @FUNKEAKINDELEBELLO, @TOYINABRAHAM, these women have gone through pregnancy and child bearing, they never portray themselves has having a perfect body on social media, they inspire women by accepting their body changes after child bearing.

Perfect doesn’t exist

My last advice is to embrace imperfection, perfect doesn’t exist, we are only chasing a ghost. When we are striving to put something out, we force ourselves to realise the only thing holding us back is our fear of rejection, and that can be overcome by actually doing it.


#Teenu_Impactress
#Teenuthegamechanger
#Relationshipandfeminismcoach






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