Having a mother daughter talk with my Teenage
daughter about, body image, diet culture, cosmetic surgeries and the truth
behind those perfect pictures on SOCIAL MEDIA “INSTAGRAM POST “
It is so important to have this talk with my
daughter, the truth is, we always see the perfect image on social media, stretch
marks, Cellulite are rarely seen in the media even though 90% of women will
have these at a given point in the live. For so long Stretch mark/Cellulite has
been associated with overweight, unhealthy diet and lifestyle. This is
absolutely incorrect, stretch mark are caused by tearing of the dermis layer of
the skin, during periods of rapid growth of the body such as during puberty and
pregnancy. Their severity is affected by several factors, including your
genetics tendency, and cortisone level, - A Hormone produced by the Adrenal
glands (mayo clinic) So if your mum has cellulite or stretch mark the chance is
that you will have it too, whether you are a size 10 or size 20 dress size you
will still have a higher chance of having stretch mark/cellulite.
Society are obsessed with perfection, because we
associate perfection to happiness. People always believes that perfection equal
happiness. We see a lot of celebrities on social media with perfect look and
their happy videos and image, therefore we automatically associate perfection
with happiness. This puts on a lot of pressure on many women to strive for
perfect image, if I can lose 5kg, if I can get rid of my stretch mark, if I can
get rid of this fat belly, then I will be happy. Comparing oneself to some of
this celebrity, like Kim K, Toyin L, I think that is big problem. It
is so easy to obsess and compare ourselves to people you see in films and on
social media for example. Everyone has something they wish they could change,
so the sooner we start being kinder to ourselves and accepting ourselves for
who we are the sooner that pressure on us all is lifted. Accepting our body for
what they are will always increase our level of confidence.
Another reason for women to
seek perfect body image of themselves is because, women have been thought to
compete against each other for the attention of men. “Noam Shpancer PHD in
Psychology, cited in Cosmopolitan “says that females compete with each other to
snag a suitable male. She also brings up another dimension why women compete
with one another, has women have been trapped in a male dominated society all
their lives that they’ve internalised male gazed which perceive them as primary
sexual objects and learned to see themselves and other women through that lens
as well. They also seek male attention to validate themselves so most they
battle other women for it.
Women have been thought to hate perfectly, the normal;
part of our body, there are so many beauty products been sold to us, If these
products are being sold to us to 'get rid of' excess hair, cellulite, stretch
mark, acne etc., we're going to believe that they are shameful, and we need to
get rid of them.
We believe subconsciously
that if we have a toned body, smooth skin and whatever else, MEN will like us more.
If we look like these 'perfect' celebs, men will like us more. Seeing all the
perfect looks in the Media is definitely making us to think there is something
wrong with us.
The media has a part to play in women body insecurity.
I think it plays an absolutely gigantic role in everyone's body insecurities,
not just women. Photoshop is the absolute devil and is capable of completely
changing someone. Smooth out the cellulite, make her waist smaller, tone those
arms, make her face completely pore less and smooth. This perfect image is not
so perfect, but that is what is put out for us to believe and this is what we
measure ourselves against and compete with. Always take what you see in the
media with a heaped spoonful of salt.
BECAUSE SEEKING
PERFECTION DOESN’T MOVE US FORWARD, IT HOLDS US BACK
Accepting infection: I have
grown to love and accept my imperfection, I have few stretch marks on my
abdomen and upper arm, most was developed during pregnancy, and some I have
always had them has a teenager. I see them has a symbol of becoming a woman, no
reason for not loving my tiger marks.
I wear outfit that makes me feel like the most
confident, badass version of myself, Hands down a sassy playsuit or jumpsuit,
with a gorgeous lace insert, some cute heels or wedges and a little bag. I may
as well be miss world when I'm wearing it all!
I have few positive body
role models that inspires me, @FUNKEAKINDELEBELLO, @TOYINABRAHAM, these women
have gone through pregnancy and child bearing, they never portray themselves
has having a perfect body on social media, they inspire women by accepting
their body changes after child bearing.
Perfect doesn’t exist
My last advice is to
embrace imperfection,
perfect doesn’t exist, we are only chasing a ghost. When we are striving to put
something out, we force ourselves to realise the only thing holding us back is
our fear of rejection, and that can be overcome by actually doing it.
#Teenu_Impactress
#Teenuthegamechanger
#Relationshipandfeminismcoach
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